He Just Wants to F*ck Me
Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash
He just wants to f*ck me
I hear all the time.
But what if he didn’t?
And what if…
he did.
What if you’re so used to saying it.
That those words, like clockwork, without skipping a beat — are a defense mechanism you’re not even sure is true anymore.
If it even applies.
That it could be in defense of having to let your guard down, having to honestly connect with a man and let him see you completely.
If you’ve gotten this far you might want to consider giving up your game. To let go of some control.
He just wants to f*ck me is an easy way out. You can just write him off.
But what if maybe…
You really want to f*ck him but that would make you an xyz who does xyz on xyz date.
How would you judge yourself then?
See it’s much easier to project onto him instead of hold the full weight and the discomfort you’d have to face that comes with feeling the depth of your real sexual appetite. Because it may be, a lot.
Could it be that you’re deeply terrified to touch and turn towards that part inside of you?
The part of you that hungers.
That wants.
That has a big appetite and can’t fit into the “nice, good girl box” anymore.
If you’re really honest you know, deep down, you’ve outgrown the box.
But in your head you tell yourself, that hungry part of yourself, she’s wayyy ‘too much’ and definitely ‘crazy’.
Don’t let her out. Don’t let her be in the driver’s seat.
Maybe you’ve touched this part of yourself after a few drinks. Or maybe with that one other person.
It scared you.
Or maybe during that one fight that had you not recognize yourself anymore. You went so deep out of control you didn’t know this part of you existed but deep down you knew then and you still know,
It’s where your real power lies. That spot.
I get it.
It shook you.
There’s no map or rule book of how to navigate that opening.
So now it lives in the shadows. It lives in shame.
Un-potentiated power. Coming out sideways. Wanting air.
But see, it still lives.
But now it’s just buried deep inside of you.
Begging.
Pleading.
To start writing that book.
To start the business.
To do that thing.
That thing.
To make more money.
To leave that relationship.
To no longer fake a smile through dates or lie there through mediocre sex.
To finally, be free.
Here’s a secret.
You can be soft, generous, loving and powerful.
You can have a lot of sex, want a lot of sex, have a big appetite, and have grace and discernment.
You my friend, can have it all.
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